Family clocks disagree: choose one reference for the start
By Erik Nilsen · Kroni2 min read
Your family is starting a shared activity at four. The kitchen clock is several minutes ahead of an adult's phone. Your child follows the wall clock and arrives at the agreed time according to it. Another participant says the child came too early. A small difference becomes an argument about who can follow an agreement.
Establish the reference before deciding whether someone was early or late. A person may have followed the clock the family normally uses even though it showed a different time from the others.
Choose a reference suited to the agreement
For an activity at home, choose one visible clock. Say: “We will use the kitchen clock for today's start.” If you are going to adjust it, explain before announcing a new time. Your child needs to know that the reference has changed.
For an event elsewhere, an adult checks the organiser's stated time and plans the journey accordingly. Everybody at home following the same incorrect time will not solve that problem. Your child need not be responsible for investigating the organiser's information.
Distinguish the display from a reminder
An adult might give a ten-minute warning. Identify the time it refers to: “We will start in ten minutes, when this clock says four.” Your child can then compare the message with what they can actually see.
Avoid silently adjusting the clock halfway through the countdown. If you discover a difference that requires a change, explain what it means for the start. Perhaps a home activity moves slightly; perhaps an adult needs to adjust a departure.
Resolve today's mismatch first
In this example the family could say: “You followed the wall clock. We did not explain which time we meant. We will begin together now.” This settles the practical issue without a lengthy discussion of blame.
Afterwards, an adult can adjust or label clocks that repeatedly show the wrong time. There is no need to introduce an entire new time system. One familiar reference and a clear message when it changes may be enough for the next agreement.
