“I will answer later”: choose a time for the next update
By Erik Nilsen · Kroni2 min read
Your child asks to join their cousin for a visit on Friday. You first need an answer about your working hours. “I will answer later,” you say. Your child asks again at lunch, after school and before dinner. The request may not need three new decisions; it needs a known time for the next update.
Promise an update you control
You cannot decide when someone else sends the work schedule. You can decide when you tell your child what you know. For example: “I will update you after dinner tonight. I will say either that the visit is settled or what we are still waiting for.”
Separate the two promises:
| Promise | Who can fulfil it? |
|---|---|
| The work schedule will arrive tonight | Depends on other people |
| I will tell you what I know after dinner | The adult at home |
Avoid choosing a time when you know you are unavailable. A slower reply you can follow up is clearer than a quick promise you keep postponing.
Clarify what applies while waiting
Your child can tell their cousin: “I would like to come, but it is not confirmed yet.” An adult gives the cousin’s adults the same message if they need to arrange travel or the visit. Your child should not become the family’s only contact point.
If the host needs an earlier answer, the adult must consider that deadline. You may have to decline this time if necessary information does not arrive. Agreeing an update time cannot extend someone else’s reply deadline without asking them.
Follow up without a final answer
After dinner, you can say: “I still have no work schedule. I will ask again tomorrow and update you after school. We have not confirmed the visit.” Silence then does not become the update itself.
If you forget the time, correct it briefly: “I was going to answer after dinner and forgot. Here is what I know now.” Avoid treating your child’s next question as nagging when you did not keep your follow-up agreement.
After a few requests, check whether the timing fits your day. You do not need a large planning routine. Try one small agreement about when your child will hear from you, including when the answer remains unresolved.
