Playing or watching: clarify what a shared gaming session actually means
By Erik Nilsen · Kroni2 min read
Two siblings sit down with a game that has only one player. The person holding the controller says they are playing together. The other says they are only watching. Both may be accurately describing their experience. Before debating who has spent longest in front of the screen, find out which role each person actually wants.
Being an audience is a choice
Some people enjoy watching a difficult level or suggesting the next move. Others want to control the game themselves. Ask the person without the controller: “Do you want to watch this round, or are you waiting for a turn?” Their answer determines whether you need an agreement about watching or taking turns.
Do not make the spectator responsible for keeping the player company. They should be able to go and do something else if they were only invited to watch. A player can want an audience, but cannot promise a shared activity on someone else’s behalf.
Make a turn recognisable
If both want to play, choose an arrangement that suits this particular game:
| Game structure | Possible agreement |
|---|---|
| Short, separate attempts | Two attempts each, including unsuccessful attempts |
| A story with save points | Swap at one specific point identified beforehand |
| No straightforward way to swap | Choose another game for the shared session |
“You can have a go soon” is insufficient if the other person does not know what soon means. Also check whether the next player can use their own save, so that their turn is more than completing the first player’s tedious task.
Agree help separately
The person receiving the controller may want one tip or no tips. Try: “Would you like me to explain, or would you rather try first?” Someone commenting on every move can still turn the other person’s go into their own.
In the example, the siblings choose two attempts each. The second sibling spends their first attempt learning the controls. That counts under their agreement, but next time they could agree on a short practice round before counting starts. Avoid changing the rule mid-game without asking both people.
If one person wants to continue alone after the shared session, discuss that as a separate request within your usual screen agreement. The other person’s voluntary watching time does not automatically mean they agree to remain an audience. Finish by asking whether each person had the role they actually accepted.
